A Bit of A Busy Life

It Has Just Started..

2010-10-13T00:05:00.005+07:00

Nineteen days we've been together in this relationship...still young but strong enough to unite our hearts...

We might just get to know each other, but this heart knows that we have the same goal that we want to reach together...

We might don't know what God has planned for us, but we know that our relationship will bring us to maturity and a better life...

We might have just started this relationship, but we know that we will always fight for our love...

We might be too early to say "I love you", but we know that someday "I love you" words will always stay in our hearts if God let us together...

One thing that we know for sure,

we're still at the beginning of our relationship, and we will start our long journey, together...

I always pray the best for you and me...for us...

Indah Pada Waktunya

2010-10-04T00:07:00.001+07:00

Pasti udah sering denger sama kalimat di atas kan?

Menurut gue itu emang bener. Karena gue sendiri ada di posisi itu. Kenapa orang sering mengeluh kalo ga dapet sesuatu yang dia inginkan? Ya sebenernya cuma ada satu. Jawabannya adalah kurang sabar. Kalo seseorang itu bisa lebih sabar gue yakin, 1000 persen malah, seseorang itu bakal dapetin sesuatu yang jauh lebih baik dari yang dia harapkan sebelumnya...

Kayaknya sotoy ya gue? hahahaha

Tapi bener deh. Semua itu bakal indah pada waktunya. Kalo emang udah tepat waktunya, pasti yang didapetin itu jadi berasa worth it banget, dari segi apapun.

Dan saat ini, gue merasa apa yang gue miliki sekarang bener bener indah pada waktunya. Semuanya tepat. Waktunya tepat. Dan yang paling penting, orangnya tepat.

Dimas, makasih udah dateng disaat yang tepat...I love you...

Seminggu Pertama

2010-10-01T23:47:00.003+07:00

Udah seminggu ya? Hehe, tuh kan nyengir sendiri. Iya sih baru seminggu, masih anget-angetnya kan pasti. Ya intinya minggu lalu, tanggal 24 September 2010, ada satu moment yang bakal gue inget terus, amin...

Mungkin ini cepet banget ya prosesnya, banyak sih orang yang bilang. Tapi entah kenapa di dalam diri gue sendiri gue sangat yakin. Sangat yakin buat ngasih hati gue ke orang ini. Sebut saja Raditya Dika. Oke, kalo kamu baca jangan ngamuk huahaha tos dulu biar ga slek! Ya nama aslinya Muhammad Dimas Ekoprasetyo.

Emang yang mana orangnya? hahaha, nih dia manusianya...

ganteng kan ya pacar saya? :)

Tapi gue bersyukur banget loh ya, biar banyak yang cengin, tapi sebenernya mereka sangat support gue, entah itu temen SMA atau temen-temen di kampus. Well, I can't deny how happy I am now. Gue lega karena akhirnya gue punya seseorang di samping gue. Dan yang gue ngga habis pikir, ini semua terjadi tanpa pernah gue sangka sebelumnya. Datengnya tiba-tiba. Tapi entah ya, gue merasanya ini emang tepat aja. It's just feels so right to have him in my life...

Kata orang-orang biasanya kalo baru pacaran emang manis terus, nanti kalo udah lama baru deh pait. Masuk akal sih, tapi ya gue berharapnya ini ngga cuma di awal aja. Makanya itu mumpung masih awal ya dinikmati aja manisnya. Karena menurut gue kalo dalem suatu hubungan kita bisa ngebawa ke suasana yang manis, ya bakal manis terus. Ugh, apa dah muter-muter amat gue ngomong hahaha. Ya intinya gini, hambatan pasti ada. Entah ngambek, salah paham atau hal-hal sepele yang ujung-ujungnya jadi gede lah, itu semua wajar. Kalo ngga ada malah too flat. Tapi semakin dewasanya gue dan dia semoga bisa lewatin itu semua. Dan kali ini gue ngga akan muluk-muluk dalem berharap, gue cuma mau memberi yang terbaik buat dia dan gitu juga sebaliknya...

Ah udah ah hahaha, curhat aja lu.

Last but not least,

I love you, Dimas... :)

Aku Ingin

2010-09-27T00:32:00.000+07:00

By : Sapardi Djoko Damono

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan
kayu kepada api yang menjadikannya abu

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan
awan kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada..

I dedicated this for you, Dimas...

♥ ♥ ♥

Finally, 24.09.10

2010-09-24T00:59:00.002+07:00

Now, I'm officially yours, Muhammad Dimas Ekoprasetyo...

Love,
24.09.10

It Grows...

2010-09-22T00:31:00.000+07:00

I am waiting for you to response my bbm, but it looks like that you've fallen asleep. Hehehe it's okay, I know you're very tired. Sleep tight and have a nice dream, dear D...

Well actually I really don't know what to write. Oh wait. Okay, one sentence.

I think our feelings grow each day...

Every moment we have a-heart-to-heart conversation, I feel like I've found what I'm looking for. Do you feel the same way too, D?

xoxo

Butterflies On My Stomach

2010-09-18T02:09:00.002+07:00

Well, it's 2 a.m and I suddenly awakened from my sleep. Got nothing to do but writing. Now I'm sitting in front of my laptop. In a silence atmosphere. Thinking about everything. Oh okay, mostly about YOU. Yes, you.

I never put a high expectation about love life since I'm in college. Never. It's just enough. But then you came. Bring me all the butterflies. And if I could say, I think I've found what I'm looking for. Too fast? It can be. But you never know what God has planned for you. Maybe this is my way of life that must be thankful for.

I met you and unconsciously in love with you, MDE...

S1 Bisnis Prasetiya Mulya Batch 6

2010-08-28T21:42:00.002+07:00

HELLO! Look, who's here!!!

Hehe, it's been a month I didn't write a post. I've been very very busy. Well, I am Firna Maulia Wardhani, a - seventeen - going on - eighteen years old girl, presenting myself as a college student of Prasetiya Mulya Business School 2010. I am very proud of what I'm going through now. I am proud to be a part of PMBS' family.

Okay, let's reminisce something that I wrote a month ago. I complained so much about the rules of my new campus and whatever. I called BSD as a far far away city. Yes, that's true. But if I see myself now with all those new circumstances, I feel something different in me. I recently made a bunch of new friends there. And I learned many things there although it's only a week of campus orientation. I learned about how important to use our time as well and not to waste every single of it. I also learned about how important to work as team, and taking care of each responsibilities. Well, to be honest, I am so sick of every single task that my senior gave to me. It has short deadline. And it has no tolerance. But beside all of those things, consciously or not, they give many benefits to the students.

I also made some short term goals that I wanna reach for this one year. Haha, better dream big as early as possible, right? So, what are they?

- doing every assignments on time
- working as a professional on a team
- joining Student Board Prasetiya Mulya
- being a part of Art and Skill Division of Student Board
- joining traditional dance club, yeay back to saman!!!

Student Board Prasetiya Mulya

my second home starting from now

I am tired but I am excited. I just wanna do my best to make my parents proud. This is my pride to be the student of Prasetiya Mulya 2010.

Let's enjoy life, xoxo

far far away BSD City

2010-07-31T18:34:00.002+07:00

I survey BSD City this noon. Hell no. It was freakin' far from my house. It seems okay at first. But when I drove along that way to BSD, it was like OH-MY-GOD-WHERE-THE-HELL-IS-IT-DOES-ANYONE-LIVE-HERE. Yeah, it was like that.

Gue beneran deh ngga mau mengeluh soal kuliah. That's a choice that I made and every choice has its own risk. Gue udah dikasih kesempatan besar sama Allah untuk kuliah di Prasmul dan gue harus bersyukur. But please, please, let me be whiny just for this time. I'm desperately exhausted.

Gila ya, hal pertama yang gue sadar begitu gue mulai sampai di tol Serpong, gue cuma mikir "INI TUH JAUH BANGET". And I estimated time, from my house to my campus was about one and a half hour. Gue bingung nyari arah nya kemana. Ternyata Edutown BSD City itu mentok sementok-mentok nya mentok BSD. Gue mau nangis. Tetangga Prasmul cuma SGU sama perumahan Foresta. Sisanya? Tanah kosong yang warna tanah nya merah gitu. Gue berasa jauh dari peradaban. Ini tempat kuliah apa tempat pengasingan sih. Shit. Gue shock. Parah ini jauh banget buat ukuran gue-mesti-pulang-pergi-setiap-hari. Dan satu yang gue pikirin lagi yang bikin gue drop. Do I have to drive that long, everyday? Everyday? Terus pertanyaan yang orang lain sering tanya ke gue adalah kenapa gue ngga ngekos aja. Kalo gue punya uang yang sangat sangat berlebih, gue bakal ngekos dan ngga usah gempor nyetir segitu jauhnya. Intinya ngekos di BSD mahal banget. Kalo misalnya harga sekian itu di luar kota buat setahun, di BSD buat sebulan. Oh man, die. Just die.

Okay, gue ngga semestinya mengeluh ya. Kalo dibanding yang kuliah di luar kota, gue termasuk yang beruntung karena ngga harus ninggalin rumah. Ngga harus ngerasain homesick. Tapi kalo di luar kota ngekos kan bolak balik nya sekali-sekali. Kalo gue. Setiap hari dengan jarak yang bisa dibilang jauh. Iya sih, semua ada plus minus nya ya.

Yaampun, semoga gue sabar. Dan yang paling penting, niat dalem hati gue tetep kuat buat semangat kuliah. Ini yang gue pilih. Ini yang harus gue jalani untuk 3-4 tahun ke depan. Semoga setelah dijalanin nantinya bakal menyenangkan. Well, everything happens for a reason. This is true. Ya Allah, niat utama saya cuma untuk bikin bangga Ayah Ibu saya dan keluarga saya. Bismillah...

S1 Bisnis = Jualan

2010-07-29T11:36:00.003+07:00

Damn, man. I'm so talkative these days. But I just can't stop writing. These whole new things are comin' up and I'm getting so nervous about that. I'm excited, but really really nervous too.

Jadi gini, gue baru inget kalo kakak kelas gue dulu waktu SMP, ada yang kuliah di Prasmul juga. Gue contact doi di Facebook. Namanya Kamil, dulu dia ikut acara The Scholars Indonesia yang diadain sama Metro TV kerjasama bareng Prasetiya Mulya tahun 2007. Akhirnya gue contact si kakak kelas gue ini, dan lebih bagus lagi dia masih inget sama gue. Yak, gue nanya kayak apa sih kuliah di Prasmul. Asli gue makin deg-degan. Berhubung belum dijawab lagi, gue liat profile nya. Dan gue liat foto-foto nya.

Jreng. Hampir semua foto yang berhubungan sama Prasmul, itu lagi kegiatan di luar. Lebih tepatnya lagi jualan. Iya, jualan. Tau kan semacam franchise kecil-kecilan, yang kayak jual singkong crispy gitu? Nah iya hampir semua kegiatan kampus itu ada di luar. Semacam di desa gitu. Dan roman-roman nya bakal sering ada games buat team work.

Okay, I got it. Jadi gue rasa nanti di kampus teori tentang bisnis itu cuma sekitar 40%, and the rest of it ya dagang beneran nya. Bagus sih sebenernya, karena kan kita jadi bisa praktek soal bisnis secara langsung. Memperkuat team work juga kan. Keliatan nya sih asik. Tapi gue ngga tau bakal gimana. Dan pakaian nya jelas harus formal. Kemeja aja loh. Kemeja kayak orang kerja. Asli gue ngga punya ahahaha.

Gue ngga tau deh bakal gimana. Deg-deg an banget. Gue ngga tau apa gue bakal siap kuliah di bidang ini. Bidang yang menurut gue sangat serius. All about entrepreneurship. Dan, yang paling penting itu behave nya. Hahahahaha gimana dong nih, gue aja masih begini kelakuan nya. Yah, semoga nanti di kenyataan nya kuliah gue bakal jadi hal yang menyenangkan. Dan semoga gue bisa menempatkan diri lah disaat yang tepat. Amin Ya Allah.

I also pray for you, all my friends, in elementary school, junior high and also senior high school. Wish us the best luck. Ingat, 10 taun ke depan kita semua harus udah jadi orang ya. Sukses selalu teman-teman. :)

KEONG RACUN tenoet tenoet

2010-07-27T20:45:00.003+07:00

MASYA ALLAH. YA ALLAHUAKBAR. ASTAGHFIRULLAH. YA TUHAN.

NGAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SUMPAH GUA NGAKAK. Lo liat sendiri aja deh.

KEONG RACUN

Reff:
Dasar kau keong racun
Baru kenal eh ngajak tidur
Ngomong nggak sopan santun
Kau anggap aku ayam kampung
Kau rayu diriku
Kau goda diriku
Kau colek diriku
Eh ku takut sekali
tanpa basa basi kau ngajak happy happy
Eh kau tak tahu malu
Tanpa basa basi kau ngajak happy happy

*
Mulut kumat kemot
Matanya melotot
Lihat body semok
Pikiranmu jorok
Mentang-mentang kau kaya
Aku dianggap jablay
Dasar koboy kucai
Ngajak check-in dan santai
Sorry sorry sorry jack
Jangan remehkan aku
Sorry sorry sorry bang
Ku bukan cewek murahan

HAHAHAHA, kiamat tanggal berapa sih?

saya punya fans, terimakasih :)

2010-07-27T19:51:00.004+07:00

Halo. Iya gue lagi. Hahaha sorry blogger.com, I am your nightmare. Oke, hal pertama yang mau gue bilang. Bulan Juli ini gue bacot banget. Ahahaha ._. Gue baru sadar pas liat jumlah post bulan ini. Kebanting banget sama jumlah post bulan-bulan sebelumnya. Entah deh, apa emang karena dbd, atau gue makan kebanyakan, atau Sule ganteng. Ha, lucu sekali dek Firna.

Tapi ternyata ya, ada loh yang kesengsem sama postingan di blog gue. Iya, temen gue sendiri. Orangnya kerena, lutuna, gaulna. Namanya Syifa Sulistyo. Gue rasa dia picek apa gimana entah deh. Mungkin kepalanya kepentok. Ah ngga tau juga deh, gue cuma kasian dia baca blog gue. Kasian, takut setres. Nah kalo mau tau dia, itu ada di list blog gue. Coba di klik blognya. Isi blognya ternyata, ugh hahahahaha tak lain tak bukan kayak Nunung. Iya, lu bilang gua kayak Nunung kan, Pok? Nah iya, isi blog elu juga mencerminkan kalo elu kayak Nunung. Ganti deh jangan Nunung, yang bagusan dikit. Sule apa? Sule cantik kok kalo dikasih daster, kalah Nunung. Hehe bercanda gua, jangan nangis apa.

Ih asik ternyata ya kalo ada yang suka sama postingan kita. Gue jadi enak. Gosip-gosipnya doi demen sama blog gue. Anyway, makasih ya Cipok, gue cipok nih. Oh iya, Cipok yang gue bilang disini maksudnya si Syifa yang tadi itu.

Ugh udah deh udah, gue bingung mau nulis apaan lagi. Nyerah. Lambai-lambai tangan. Perasaan tadi banyak yang mau ditulis, tapi lupa. Yowes ya, gutbai.

P.S : kalo baca blognya si Cipok, mesti baca ini, ngahahahaha bego abis, ngakak.

soon-to-be college girl :)

2010-07-26T08:15:00.002+07:00

To the point. Gue ngga sabar pingin cepet kuliah. Coba diulang dikit. Kuliah. Idiiiih, asoy ya. Lagi ah. Kuliah. Hahahaha norak ya emang kalo baru lulus SMA, bawaannya belagu, terus tiap liat anak SMA bacotnya "ciye masih jaman putih abu-abu?" belagu banget gila. Padahal liat video dokumenter pas SMA aja masih mewek. Tapi serius deh gue pingin cepet kuliah. Kelamaan nganggur ngga enak juga tau. Gue pingin tau euforia nya anak kuliah, yang kata orang-orang santai tapi bikin stres. Ah, masa iya sih? Tapi iya juga sih, tugas nya itu loh suka- ngga kira-kira.

Anyway, gue fixed bakal kuliah di Prasetiya Mulya. Iya iya, kampus gue emang kurang terkenal di kalangan anak SMA. Kampus gue terkenal di kalangan bapak-bapak yang nerusin S2 yang biasanya umurnya udah 30 taun ke atas. Gue selalu dihadapkan sama percakapan ini kalo ngomongin kampus.

Orang : "eh hai, kuliah dimana lo?"
Gue : "hai, gue kuliah di Prasetiya Mulya"
Orang : "ha? Pras apaan? Dimana tuh?"
Gue : "ugh, Prasetiya Mulya itu sekolah bisnis di cilandak bla bla bla..."
Orang : "oh, baru denger gue"

Jleb. Kadang dalem gitu. BSI sama Prasmul aja masih bekenan BSI. T____T
Eh gitu-gitu kampus gue qualified banget loh. Sekolah bisnis nomer satu di Indonesia. Ngalahin Harvard University waktu kontes bisnis. Bangga dong gue. Tapi tetep ngga terkenal, hahahaha. Kalo gue bilang ke guru SMA gue aja cuma seupil yang tau Prasmul. Kayanya ngga asik gitu kalo ditanya guru jawabnya bukan UI. Ya abis gimana dong, gue juga pinginnya UI, tapi ngga jodoh kali. Impian arsitek gue juga udah gue kubur. Tutup buku.

Gue banting setir mau jadi pebisnis. Lihat aja ya 5 taun lagi, gue bakal main ke SMA 38, dan pas ditanya guru gue bakal bilang "Iya saya udah lulus dari Prasetiya Mulya, dan sekarang saya kerja di perusahaan asing jadi manager. Pacar saya juga eksekutif muda. Saya taun depan pindah tugas ke Amerika." Hahahaha ngayal babu banget. Tapi asik ye kalo gitu. Semoga cita-cita 5 taun ke depan itu bisa terealisasi. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.

Ugh oke, sekarang balik ke realita dulu deh. Kalo dipikir-pikir kampus gue jauh banget. Di BSD aja loh. Kenapa ngga yang di Cilandak aja sih ya. Iya sih harusnya ngga usah ngeluh, toh masih di sekitar Jakarta juga. Tapi masalahnya ini tuh jauh engga, deket juga engga. Kalo ngekos ngapain amat buang duit, di BSD lagi kan mahal. Jadi nasib gue bakal tiap hari nyetir bolak-balik Depok-BSD. Apa gue bikin jurusan aja Depok-BSD, sekalian narik. Lumayan buat jajan. Tuh liat, insting bisnis saya terpacu. Ha-ha lucu ya gua kadang.

nah itu kampus gue di BSD, gaul kaya mall

Gila, lu pikir aja biar dikata lewat tol, ini dari ujung ke ujung. Copot iya kaki gue. Belom lagi menuju tol TB Simatupang yang mesti lewatin Lenteng Agung. Ajegile motor-motor kalo pagi kaya lalet ngerubung. Brutal banget nyalip sana sini. Setres iya gue.

Tapi mau gimana dong, udah seharusnya begitu. Keterima di Prasmul aja udah sujud sukur banget alhamdulillah gue. Yaudin lah, dijalanin aja. Belum tau juga nantinya bakal gimana. Ya semoga bisa lancar kuliah nya.

Semoga sukses juga ya kuliah nya, teman-temanku. :)

easy, I'll get there someday

2010-07-25T19:50:00.000+07:00

Yuhu. Me again. Hahaha disaster for blogger.com. Ergh, sebenernya gue sendiri ngga tau sih apa yang mau ditulis. Tapi pingin nulis. Bingung? Yaudah terima aja.

Anyway, I miss someone. Basi? Iya emang. Ngga jelas gue juga. Kayaknya udah mulai terkikis deh sama waktu tapi kok masih aja...ehem, kangen. Wajar ngga sih? Tapi ya percuma juga gue kangen sampai jungkir balik, toh ngga ngaruh apa-apa. Ngga merubah keadaan. Ngga merubah nasib. Nasib percintaan gue sampai detik ini "unrequited love". Tau ngga artinya? Kalo tau ya sukur, kalo ngga tau cari sendiri deh artinya. Ngga sanggup bilang gue. Pedih. Hahahaha.

Ya jadi inti dari semuanya itu, gue pingin punya seseorang. Ha? Apa? Ngebet? Engga kok. Ngga ngebet sama sekali. Wajar kan kalo kita pingin punya pendamping. Ya gue lagi di posisi itu. Tapi apa boleh buat, mungkin belum diizinin sama yang diatas kali ya. Mungkin waktunya belum tepat. Mungkin juga orangnya belum tepat. Yah pada akhirnya gue pasti akan kesana kok *brb ngepel tol*.

Semoga suatu saat gue menemukan seseorang yang tepat. Bukan cuma orang nya yang tepat, tapi waktu nya juga tepat.

I'll get there someday. Yes, someday.

do we really grow up?

2010-07-24T09:15:00.002+07:00

Morning. It's 8 am and as usual I have nothing to do but surfing on the internet. Okay, now I'm gonna pop-up a question for you, whoever you are. This is a super-simple question. The question is...

Do we really grow up?

I always curious about this question. Now I'm gonna answer it myself. If someone asks me that question, I would like to say that I'm now trying to be a grown up girl. Do I still have those childish behavior? Yes, I am. But I learn how to think and act like a grown up people.

Well, I've been observing some people's behavior. Some of them are showing the progress to be a grown up people. But sorry to say, the others haven't learned anything yet. I'm sorry for saying this, but it's true. Especially if talking about friendship and backstabbing things. I won't be hypocrite by saying I never did that. But at least, I learn from my mistakes. And I prefer not to discuss about it to all my friend.

Okay, let's not talk about this. I'm sorry if anyone gets mad by this writing. No offense, people. But I just want you to open your eyes. We are soon-to-be live in the middle of society. We are not 14 years old teenager anymore. All we have to do is being a grown up people. Think before we act. And the most important thing is not to fussing about every little things around you.

Please, be grown up :)

tahap penyembuhan dari demam berdarah!

2010-07-23T23:30:00.003+07:00

Halo hahahaha, saya kembali loh. Ceritanya gue udah dibolehin pulang dari rumah sakit sejak hari Rabu kemarin. Dibolehinnya juga itu karena gue maksa dokternya. Gue gatahan sama infus. Si dokter sebenernya masih takut kalo gue kenapa-kenapa lagi, ya tapi akhirnya kalah kan dia sama gua. Abis gimana dong, Dok. Saya gatahan mesti bolak baliks pipis bawa-bawa infus. Udah gitu dikira enak kali ya makan bubur melulu. Enek iya gue.

Yaudah gitu deh akhirnya kan gue boleh pulang ya, tapi sampai sekarang gue masih keliyengan parah. Kayak melayang gitu. Dan tangan gue pada bonyok semua. Masih pada biru-biru. Kepentok dikit ngilunya ke ubun-ubun. Muka gue juga amburadul banget. Jarang mandi, buluk, jerawatan. Jorok ya? Ah bodo, hahahaha.

Eh iya waktu itu kan gue janji ya upload foto-foto waktu di rumah sakit. Ngga penting sih emang. Tapi biar asik aja gitu, sekalian kenang-kenangan kalo gue pernah disiksa sama nyamuk. Nih deh gue kasih. Tapi yakin? Ntar enek gue dimaki-maki lagi. Oke deh gue banyak bacot, nih liat aja sendiri.

ya itu gue malu-malu kucing

ini tangan gue yang gaul pake infus

ini monitor jantung waktu gue di ICU

bekas ambil darah yang mirip korban KDRT

jari gaul bekas ambil darah

Cool kan asik?

Yaudah deh segitu dulu ya, situ pasti juga udah males liatnya. Ailepyu gutbai.

sorry for spamming about this dengue fever again :(

2010-07-20T11:28:00.001+07:00

Well, thanks for the miracle of Blackberry smartphone. Kalo ngga ada bb hampa banget ini hidup gue di kamar. Nonton tv kan bosen banget lama-lama. Jadinya gue lebih baik ngetik seenak udel di sini.

Anyway, sekarang si mbah-mbah sebelah gue abis makan siang ini nampaknya bakal pulang deh. Oke gue sendirian, nyokap lagi ke rumah bentaran. Tau ngga sih gue geregetan, trombosit gue aturan udah 64.000 turun lagi 58.000. Shit kan. Gue udah girang ngarep banget besok dibolehin pulang. Tapi nihil. Tolong. T_____T

Yaudahlah gapapa, si dokter gue ini takut kalo gue pendarahan lagi. Kan masih rawan banget ini. Ya ampun asli gua kapok banget dbd begini. Jangan sampai deh kaya begini. Apalagi bagian pendarahan, which is ngga enak banget. Bayangin aja dari mulut lo keluar darah seger segitu banyak. Gue sendiri yang liat pingin pingsan. Itu darah seger banget serem. Ibarat apa ya, kaya lo gosok gigi kekencengan terus berdarah. Nah ini versi ekstrim, darahnya ngucur banyak banget.

Okay enough deh darah-darahan, gua jadi mual. Ngomong-ngomong acara yang lagi gue tonton ngga asik abis. Norak banget trans 7 acara apaan ini. Geli banget ceweknya sok asik. Eh tunggu. Lah ngapa gua ngomongin tipi disini. Ini otak udah mulai ngga nyambung. Makan dulu deh ya gue.

Sorry for spamming again. I ♥ you blogger.com.

taking blood for the thrombocytes

2010-07-20T06:20:00.001+07:00

Morning and I get bored. It's almost 6 in the morning. And I already awake since 30 minutes ago. Apalagi coba kalo bukan ambil darah tiap jam 5 pagi. Gila banget ya, tangan gue udah abis ini biru-biru semua diambilin darahnya. Saking udah ngga ada tempatnya dan udah saking ngilunya dimana-mana gue minta di jari aja sekalian. Nanti fotonya menyusul kalo gue udah di rumah. Bukan salah susternya sih kalo tangan gue jadi biru-biru, ya emang kalo trombositnya drop pembuluh darah jadi gampang pecah dan pasti jadi biru. Ya intinya tangan sebelah kanan dan kiri gue udah babak belur parah kaya korban KDRT.

Anyway, kalo dihitung-hitung ya, gue udah 5 hari dirawat disini, yang notabene 4 harinya di ICU. Ekstrim. Gue sampe hafal nama suster-susternya. Dan sekali lagi gue punya keterampilan baru, ganti baju dengan tangan berinfus. Oh haha, iya iya ngga penting juga sih. Gue tuh udah pingin banget pulang. Tidur dikasur yang emang menurut gue paling nyaman. Nonton dvd. Tapi jauh semua dari angan-angan gue. Hiks. Sedih banget. T_____T

Ini kalo ada dokternya gue udah mohon-mohon pulang. Tapi apa coba jawabannya "iya nanti ya pulang kalo trombositnya udah sampai 100.000". Jeger. Mampus dong gua. Tau ngga sekarang masih berapa trombosit gue? Sebanyak-banyaknya paling sekitar 30.000an. Ini masih jauh gile lu. Tapi katanya sih kalo udah naik sekali nanti seterusnya cepet. Yakali deh secepet-cepetnya ini masih 30.000, tega banget mesti sampai 100.000, paling engga 50.000 kek gitu. Asli deh bukan gue ngga mau sembuh, gue cuma kangen banget rumah. Anti banget deh opname. Masalahnya udah tiga kali gue opname dan ini yan paling parah dari semuanya. Dulu waktu SD karena diare, yaelah itu mah cere banget. Terus pas lulus SMP karena gejala dbd dan gejala tifus. Eh nah yang ini nih, belagu banget nyamuk, gua dbd lagi dan yang ini udah bukan gejala. Dbd akut trombosit sampai 11.000. Dikira demen apa ya gua.

Soal makanan sih gue ngga komplain. Yah haha situ tau sendiri saya kalo makan kan emang kalap, cuma kalo pas sakit gini jadi agak mual aja. Nah ambil darahnya itu loooooh. Gue ngga tahan sumpah. Udah empet banget.

Yaudin lah, mudah-mudahan cepet sembuh aja ya gue. Asli bosen.

suddenly awake

2010-07-20T02:37:00.007+07:00

See? I told ya, rite? This is about 2.15 down here and I suddenly awake from my beauty sleep. I was sleeping very tight before I felt like going to pee. Yes, pee. Again and I don't know for many times. This annoys me very much ya know. Infusion makes your pee produced faster than the usual times. Faster even you can't handle it. Ha ha too much. Bottom line, I feel like too much peeing. Hahaha, why should we talk about this, huh?

Anyway, my room mate is sleeping now. Very tight with her snoring. I don't feel disturbed at all. I like it actually. Because I know that someone's sleeping in the same room as mine. Other words, I'm not alone. She is maybe about 65 years old or something, but she got a very very nice attitude. She also funny and loves to laugh tough she has just known me for about 12 hours ago. Yeah but she is luckier than me, tomorrow morning after take a test from her doctor, she'll be goin' home. Me? Should stay til my thrombocytes reach the normal line.

I just wanna go home at a time like this. I miss my room. I miss sleeping in my room.

Well, the roaster has just made this "cook-a-roo" noise. I should get back to sleep. Bye angels...

balada demam berdarah dan infus

2010-07-19T22:03:00.003+07:00

Ehem, I'm currently lying in hospital's bed. Yes, I've got this damnly sick Dengue Fever. I've got so many bruises on my hands and those are blue. I feel like someone hit me everywhere.

Iya jadi intinya gue bosen setengah mati disini. Percaya ngga gue empat hari di ICU? Nggak? Ah masa? Ntar dikasih fotonya serem lagi. Yah gitu deh gue bosen. Alhamdulillahnya sekarang gue udah pindah ke kamar biasa yang ga begitu spooky. At least, disini ada TV. Ngga kaya semalem di ICU, yang ada bapak-bapak meninggal karena kelainan darah. Innalillahi serem banget kan horror hidup lu.

Eh maaf ya kalo tampilannya nanti jelek soalnya situ tau sendiri kan saya nulisnya pengkor-pengkor. Tangan kiri penuh ada infusnya (bweh!). Tangan kanan bekas suntik ambil darah gemeteran. Eh lah! Tapi ini kan gue nulis ngga pake tangan ya oon juga. Iya, gue nulis via Blackberry, jadi yang buat edit-edit segala macem tauk deh ada dimana. Ah bodo. Gue cuma mau nulis kok gitu aja repot.

Nah gini sekarang gue sekamar sama mbah-mbah. Baik banget deh asli. Tapi si mbah besok pulang, sendiri lagi deh gue. Emak gue? Banyak kerjaan kasian juga kalo mesti nginep-nginep. Nanti kecapean gue lagi yang ngga enak kan. Biar pingin dimanja tapi gue juga cukup tau diri. Udah mau kuliah gitu loh. Ha? Apa? Ga nyambung? Emang. Udah biarin aja.

Anyway soal kuliah. SNMPTN gagal. Shit. Impian buat jadi seorang arsitek sekarang kekubur dalem-dalem deh. Yah paling ntar les design aja kali ya. Dan akhirnya gue resmi jadi mahasiswi di Prasetiya Mulya. Emang roman-romannya jodoh kali ya dari awal. Yaudah jadi business woman juga sangat menjanjikan sih. Impian kalo udah punya duit banyak yang pertama itu, keliling Eropa. Dimulai dari Paris, Italia, Inggris, Jerman, Praha, Belanda, Spanyol, Ibiza sama naik kereta ngelilingin Gunung Alpen. Hahahahahahahah muluk-muluk ya? Eh serah dong hape-hape gue, apalagi jari gue yang ngetik. Bomat apa kata lu.

Nah kan bingung gue mau ngapain. Mau tidur tapi masih melek gini. Pipis? Yaelah udah hobi kali. Bolak balik kamar mandi bawa infus. Suntik lagi apa? Ambil darah lagi? Udah hobi juga. Noh biru-biru. Nyamuk mana sih yang gigit gue? Kentut emang. Mulai sekarang kosmetik sahabat saya cuma satu. Autan. Iya autan. Betapa ngampungnya. Tapi dewa banget lotion ini. Asik lo ngga bakal kena dbd gini nih. Ngga bakal lo temenan sama infus yang bikin lo beser.

Eh iya infus. Ngomong-ngomong sekarang gue punya keterampilan baru loh. Bukan ngerti isi cairan infusnya. Bukanlah! Sekarang nih gue khatam pake baju kaos biar dikata ada infusnya. Gue khatam pipis bawa-bawa infus. Gue khatam lah pokoknya. Ha-ha-ha lucu lu. Gue jadi empet sendiri. Udah ah. Kalo nanti malem melek yah nulis lagi dah.

Ailepyu ayemsorigutbai cup waw cikcik bumbum alalabumbum...

Solitude

2010-07-06T11:00:00.001+07:00

Solitude is a state of seclusion or isolation, lack of contact with people. It may stem from bad relationships, deliberate choice, or circumstances of employment or situation.

Short-term solitude is often valued as a time when one may work, think or rest without being disturbed. It may be desired for the sake of privacy.

Well, my life being so empty these days. I am so lack of contact with people. Hello, I need somebody, please.

xoxo

There's Got To Be Somebody

2010-07-05T00:26:00.000+07:00

So f-in mellow this time. Well yeah, I'm alone. And I'm particularly single. I don't blame the situation that I'm single. I'm happy being single actually. I can do anything I want. But sometimes, like now, I feel like I really need somebody to hold on. Not friends, I have a lot of friends anyway, but I need a guy to hold on. Let's say, ehm, boyfriend? Hahaha. Yes, I need a boyfriend. I need somebody who can concern about me. And it's got to be a guy. In details, it's got to be a funny-caring guy. Not intend to ask for more criteria, but I feel so alive living with humorous people.

And now I'm getting used to wait. Wait for something without a certainty.

Angels, please hear my prayers,
xoxo

Eddie Cibrian is THE HAPPENING GUY in my house

2010-07-03T03:25:00.001+07:00

Well actually, this is a request from my big sister, Irma Ryantina, to post this. Yes, she got a big crush on this guy. THE-IT-GUY, Eddie Cibrian. She got very crazy with his dimples. And she is currently watching one of Eddie's movie, CSI Miami.

I'll make it quick. This is for you, Sis. Enjoy! :)

can't hide the dimples, huh?

sexy shirtless, Eddie

back to reality, Sis! :p

Eclipse, huh?

2010-07-02T11:13:00.004+07:00

Seems like everyone in this planet getting very excited with this movie. Yeah, you can guess, Eclipse, The Twilight Saga. Euphoria and crowded ticket queue at every cinema in Jakarta. And definitely full of these teenagers. I wanna watch this and have this euphoria too. But it was 2 months ago. Now I don't feel like watching it at all.

I know I know. This is a great movie, like people said. And I love this Jacob Black. But somehow I just don't feel like watching it. Every time I see this Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, like there's something bothered me. Hahaha.

Mungkin gue bakal nonton deh, tapi ya ngga tau juga kapan dan sama siapa. Mungkin besok, minggu depan, bulan depan, atau tahun depan sekalian. Bercanda. Yang jelas lagi males aja gue nonton ini. Entah deh kenapa. Tapi nanti dikira norak lagi kalo ngga nonton, ya kan?

Well, I still love Jacob Black. No Bella Swan. No Edward Cullen. Thank you.

hahaha. bukan, bukan yang wujudnya begini.

yang ini nih!

hello, handsome

Quite refreshing, rite ladies?

xoxo

Midnight (Random) Post

2010-07-02T00:41:00.000+07:00

O my God, O my God. Kenapa sih nih gue gatel banget nyalain matiin laptop. Buka laptop gatel buka blog terus nulis. Iya sih kalo labil emang begitu. Mungkin kalo emang blogger.com bisa lempar batu lewat internet, sekarang gue lagi kejet kejet mau mati abis disambit sama doi.

Anyway, I've just watched Dunia Lain. And I also called 14045. AHA! McDonalds Delivery Service. Tummy never gets enough.

udah deh, males hahaha, bye for now

xoxo

Harry Potter's Tragedy (P.S read my previous post first!)

2010-07-01T21:53:00.000+07:00

Hahaha. Belum ada sejam ya gue ngepost, eh udah ngepost lagi. Labil emang. Anyway, I barely understood about the meaning of "RIDICULOUS" word on my previous post. HA!

Jadi ceritanya abis matiin laptop gue anteng nontonin Harry Potter. Terus tiba-tiba otak gue bekerja, mikirin apa lucunya sih adegan "RIDICULOUS" tadi. Pas dipikir-pikir, ASTAGANAGABONARJADIDUA IYA LOH LUCU TERNYATA HAHAHAHA. Gue berasa bego sendiri. Ternyata pas si murid laki-laki itu bilang "RIDICULOUS" dia tuh ngebayangin profesor yang serem pake baju neneknya. Sekejap, si profesor muka preman pake baju nenek-nenek. Hahahahaha. Iya iya. Itu dia letak lucunya.

Yaudah deh cukup. Gue mau nonton Harry Potter dari awal biar ngerti. Hahaha masih berasa dongo nih gue. Nanti kalo gue udah ngerti gue post lagi deh (kalo blogger.com bisa lempar bata lewat komputer, gue udah disambit dari tadi).

Salam Harry Potter,
eh gue udah ngerti dikit dong :p

i rack my brain just to find a post title and end up with this haha :p

2010-07-01T21:11:00.003+07:00

Iya gue lagi. Dan dengan post yang bakalan random. Sebenernya gue sambil nonton Harry Potter nih di TV, yeah that in fact i never understood this movie. Gila ya, orang-orang kayanya heboh banget kalo ngomongin film ini. Entah gue yang bego dan kelewat ngga up-to-date apa orang-orang aja yang udah terlalu kesihir sama film ini. And you know what, barusan gue denger dialog ini.

Teacher : "RIDICULOUS!"
All Students : "RIDICULOUS!" (repeating the teacher)
A Boy : "RIDICULOUS!"
All Students : "HAHAHAHAHA!" (laughing at that silly boy)

Eh, I don't get it, really. What's so funny from that words. Krik krik.

Coba deh dipikir, apa lucunya. Apa mukanya dongo? Engga juga sih padahal. Oh yaudah kesimpulannya gue yang dongo ngga ngerti film beginian. Hahahahaha. Sumpah gue ngga ngerti. Yang gue inget dari film ini, ada tiga sahabat nih sama-sama sekolah sihir gitu. Si Harry Potter, Hermione sama Ron. Ini mereka main film ini dari jaman bocah, mungkin dari jaman belum pada wet dream malah, sampai sekarang udah gede gini. Mukanya dulu pada lugu, kalem ngga punya dosa, sekarang udah jadi abg gaul. Oh terus ada lagi yang gue inget dari film ini. Ada anjing kepalanya dua, terus mereka seneng main semacem bola kecil gitu sambil terbang pake sapu. Dan istilah yang ada di film ini ajaib aduhai bahkan buat inget satu istilah aja gue ngga bisa.

When everyone get so crazy about this movie and discuss about it, I just hear some dizzy wuzzy words. How pathetic, huh? T__T I'm sorry people, I just don't get this movie. Please, if you are kinda patient person, teach me about this movie. Gue kan juga pingin gitu kalo orang lagi pada heboh film ini gue nyambung. Masa gue cuma cengengesan dongo. Kan kasian, yakan?

Anyway, out of that thing, I'm in a long holiday. Iya pasti udah pada tau juga sih. Nah, berhubung liburan panjang, gue pingin ngambil les gitu. Les apa ya enaknya? Bahasa Inggris sih wajib nanti kalo pas kuliah. Gue pinginnya sih les bahasa yang lain gitu, kaya bahasa Prancis atau Itali. Those languages sound very sexy to me. Atau engga les piano deh hehe, labil bener.

Eh iya! KTP gue belum bikin hahaha, SIM apalagi.

Yaudah deh, bosen. Hahaha situ juga pasti bosen baca ocehan ngga penting saya kan? Jangan heran, jangan gila. Sampai jumpa, sayonara!

with love,
orang yang sampai sekarang ngga ngerti Harry Potter

It's Already July

2010-07-01T00:31:00.003+07:00

Hahaha oh my God, it's July. Yeah, I know. I know. I keep on writing some random things, rite? If you are a jobless girl with a lot of teenage problems, put your hands up, ladies!

I have this bunch of stories in my head that are about to explode. I feel very nervous just thinking about college life. How is it gonna be. Hmm, but I guess I just waste my time to think about that.

Okay, change subject.

Now I'm being a perfect loner. Moving out from Twitter world. Keep quite on Blackberry Messenger. Opening facebook no more than 5 minutes. Staying at home and watching DVDs. Only going out if there is an urgent case. And..........being single.

You know, sometimes being an anti-social is good. You don't have to think about what people say. You don't have to feel offended by their writing on social sites. It's just, you don't have to be stressed out because of those kinda things. The most important thing, you can care much about yourself.

Oh man, it's coming again. I totally forgot about the things that I'm going to write. Hahaha. Self, you need to take a deep breath. I'm out. Dreamland is waiting.

bonne nuit!
xoxo

Hey...

2010-06-30T21:55:00.005+07:00

...I MISS YOU...

Kisah Kasih di Sekolah

2010-06-29T23:35:00.003+07:00

SMA 38. Ya, itu tempat gue berjuang untuk pendidikan selama tiga tahun belakangan. PRIDOZENT 2007-2010. Apa ya, sepertinya ngga ada kata-kata yang bisa gambarin tentang kenangan yang ada di sekolah gue ini. Macem-macem rasanya.

" Tiada masa paling indah, masa masa di sekolah.

Tiada kisah paling indah, kisah kasih di sekolah."

Pepatah diatas itu memang bener banget setelah gue tau dan mengalami sendiri masa-masa di SMA. Masa-masa dimana persahabatan dan cinta adalah hal yang sangat mendominasi. Masa-masa dimana kita selalu merasa ingin tau sesuatu yang baru. Masa-masa dimana sifat kita bisa berubah-ubah seperti layaknya rollercoaster. Masa-masa dimana segala sesuatunya ngga bisa dilupakan.

Jam istirahat, jam pulang, kantin dan "es teh browie" mungkin hal yang paling ngangenin. Upacara bendera, ulangan, guru rese dan PR mungkin hal yang paling nyebelin. Bercanda, main, punya geng dan pacaran mungkin hal yang paling manis. Slek, saling ngomongin, berantem mungkin hal yang paling nyakitin.

Gue rasanya pingin mengulang lagi masa-masa indah kemarin di SMA. Pingin rasanya pakai seragam putih abu-abu lagi. Pingin ngerasain duduk di bangku kayu reot itu. Pingin rasanya bercanda pas guru lagi nerangin pelajaran.

Tapi dibalik itu semua, sebenernya hal-hal itu yang membuat kita belajar. Belajar tentang kehidupan, masa depan, persahabatan dan cinta. Dan kadang hal yang sangat bodoh pun bisa sangat menghibur.

Selamat tinggal SMA 38, selamat tinggal bapak ibu guru, selamat tinggal teman-teman, selamat tinggal kantin, selamat tinggal satpam dan selamat tinggal putih abu-abu. Terima kasih untuk semua kenangan yang ada di tiga tahun terakhir ini.

PRIDOZENT 2007 - 2010

With love,

Firna Maulia Wardhani

XII IPA I (18)

Start All Over Again

2010-06-29T18:56:00.000+07:00

Oh, it feels good to be back. It's been a long time ago since my last post. I've been very busy and messed up.

Actually there are many stories that I wanna share, but I don't know where to start. This is already June, even almost July. If I still choose Prasetiya Mulya for my college, I'll start my college life on 25th of August. Yee-ha! Soon-to-be college girl! I'm ready for my new life.

Okay. Hahaha I really don't know what to write. I'll be back when I have these stuffs on my head.

XOXO, love, purple.

Never Knew I Needed

2010-06-02T10:32:00.002+07:00

Never Knew I Needed by Ne-Yo

for the way you changed my plans
for being the perfect distraction
for the way you took the idea that i have
of everything that i wanted to have
and made me see there was something missing

for the ending of my first begin
and for the rare and unexpected friend
for the way you're something that i never choose
but at the same time something i don't wanna lose
and never wanna be without ever again

you're the best thing i never knew i needed
so when you were here i had no idea
you're the best thing i never knew i needed
so now it's so clear i need you here always

my accidental happily (ever after)
the way you smile and how you comfort me (with your laughter)
i must admit you were not a part of my book
but now if you open it up and take a look
you're the beginning and the end of every chapter

you're the best thing i never knew i needed

so when you were here i had no idea
you're the best thing i never knew i needed
so now it's so clear i need you here always

who'd knew that i'd could be
so unexpectedly
undeniably happier
said with you right here, right here next to me

you're the best thing i never knew i needed
so when you were here i had no idea
you're the best thing i never knew i needed
so now it's so clear i need you here always
baby baby

now it's so clear i need you here always...

That's all I wanna say :)

After Kicked Out Once, Finally...

2010-05-08T09:08:00.006+07:00

I am accepted by

Prasetiya Mulya Bussiness School :)

Loving Someone Is......

2010-04-20T07:37:00.008+07:00

Good morning Universe. I've just opened my facebook account and found a wonderful notes from my friend, Maulina. Well, the notes is about the meaning of loving someone. Here it is...

CIRI-CIRI ORANG YANG MENCINTAI KAMU

Yesterday at 12:10pm

1. Orang yang mencintai kamu tidak pernah bisa memberikan alasan kenapa ia mencintai kamu, yang ia tahu dimatanya hanya ada kamu satu²nya.

2. Orang yang mencintai kamu selalu menerima kamu apa adanya,dimatanya kamu selalu yang tercantik/tertampan walaupun mungkin kamu merasa berat badan kamu sudah berlebihan atau kamu merasa kegemukan .

3. Orang yang mencintai kamu selau ingin tau tentang apa saja yang kamu lalui sepanjang hari ini, ia ingin tau kegiatan kamu.

4. Orang yang mencintai kamu akan mengirimkan sms seperti “selamat pagi”

“selamat hari minggu” “selamat tidur”, walaupun kamu tidak membalas pesannya.

5. Kalau kamu berulang tahun dan kamu tidak mengundangnya setidaknya ia akan telpon untuk mengucapkan selamat atau mengirim sms.

6. Orang yang mencintai kamu akan selalu mengingat setiap kejadian yang ia lalui bersama kamu, bahkan mungkin kejadian yang kamu sendiri sudah lupa setiap detailnya, karena saat itu adalah sesuatu yang berharga untuknya.

7. Orang yang mencintai kamu selalu mengingat tiap kata2 yang kamu ucapkan bahkan mungkin kata2 yang kamu sendiri lupa pernah mengatakannya.

8. Orang yang mencintai kamu akan belajar menyukai lagu-lagu kesukaanmu, bahkan mungkin meminjam CD/kaset kamu,karena ia ingin tau kesukaanmu, kesukaanmu kesukaannya juga.

9. Kalau terakhir kali ketemu, kamu sedang sakit flu, terkilir, atau sakit gigi, beberapa hari kemudian ia akan mengirim sms atau menelponmu dan menanyakan keadaanmu.. karena ia mengkhawatirkanmu.

10. Kalau kamu bilang akan menghadapi ujian ia akan menanyakan kapan ujian itu dan saat harinya tiba ia akan mengirimkan sms “good luck” atau menelponmu untuk menyemangati kamu.

11. Orang yang mencintai kamu akan memberikan suatu barang miliknya yang mungkin buat kamu itu ialah sesuatu yang biasa, tapi itu ialah suatu barang yang istimewa buat dia.

12. Orang yang mencintai kamu akan terdiam sesaat,saat sedang berbicara ditelpon dengan kamu, sehingga kamu menjadi binggung saat itu dia merasa sangat gugup karena kamu telah mengguncang dunianya.

13. Orang yang mencintai kamu selalu ingin berada didekatmu dan ingin menghabiskan hari2nya denganmu.

14. Jika suatu saat kamu harus pindah ke kota lain untuk waktu yang lain ia akan memberikan nasehat supaya kamu waspada dengan lingkungan yang bisa membawa pengaruh buruk bagimu.

15. Orang yang mencintai kamu bertindak lebih seperti saudara daripada seperti seorang kekasih.

16. Orang yang mencintai kamu sering melakukan hal2 yang konyol spt menelponmu 100x dalam sehari, atau membangunkanmu ditengah malam karena ia mengirim sms atau menelponmu. karena saat itu ia sedang memikirkan kamu.

17. Orang yang mencintai kamu kadang merindukanmu dan melakukan hal2 yang membuat kamu jengkel atau gila, saat kamu bilang tindakannya membuatmu terganggu ia akan minta maaf dan tak kan melakukannya lagi.

18. Jika kamu memintanya untuk mengajarimu sesuatu maka ia akan mengajarimu dengan sabar walaupun kamu mungkin orang yang terbodoh di dunia!

19. Kalau kamu melihat handphone-nya maka namamu akan menghiasi sbgn besar “INBOX”nya.Ya ia masih menyimpan pesan dari kamu walaupun pesan itu sudah kamu kirim sejak berbulan2 bahkan bertahun2 yang lalu.

20. Dan jika kamu menghindarinya atau memberi reaksi penolakan, ia akan menyadarinya dan menghilang dari kehidupanmu walaupun hal itu membunuh hatinya. Karena yang ia inginkan hanyalah kebahagiaanmu.

21. Jika suatu saat kamu merindukannya dan ingin memberinya kesempatan ia akan ada disana menunggumu karena ia tak pernah mencari orang lain. Ya…………ia selalu menunggumu.

Somehow my tears drop again. I was there too, maybe I still there. Point number 1 until 21 were the things that I used to do. Especially point number 20, I dedicate it for you. And if someday, You read my blog too, I hope that you can see how much I love you. I don't expect anything from you, I just want you to know that I love you.

I know I should move on. I know that now your happiness is with this girl. I know that I didn't mean anything for you. I know all those things. But maybe I couldn't lie to my own heart. No matter what you do, I'm still in love with you.

Yes, I tried to move on so many times. And sometimes I feel like I get a new spirit from another one. But when the memories about you came to me, they broke my strength. I don't know if I could truly move on or not.

I really wanna go out from your box. I really wanna move on. I really don't wanna be such a fool.

I really wanna find my happiness too. Please tell me how....

It's Up To Me

2010-04-19T08:02:00.001+07:00

Morning, fellas. Ehm. I've just received a message from someone in my past that maybe now reading my blog too. This is for you, dude.

This is my blog, rite?
So, what is the purpose of writing some posts in my own blog? Of course to speak up my mind.
Maybe some of the posts are mentioning about you, and they're not good opinion about you, I AM SORRY FOR THAT.
But hey, that was an old story. I'm not mad at you anymore. Our problem is definitely over, man. Did you know that I was really hurt back then? And I had no one to tell, so I prefer to write 'em down here, in my blog. Once again I told you. It is over. If you get mad at me, go on. Because this is my right for doing anything in my blog. You can't stop me. And last thing I wanna told you, mind your own bussiness, please. I am enough with you.

I'm sorry.

Oh, I Love....Myself

2010-04-17T20:05:00.001+07:00

Gosh, it feels soooo good today. It's been a long time since I never care about myself. Really, my body needs a total rehab. Since I had those problems and hard times, my body, my mind and my soul are very very depressed. Lose many weights, acne goes everywhere in my face and the worst is I have no passion for life.

Now I rebuilt my life back! :D

I have to be grown up now, I'm not a child anymore, although sometimes being a childish person is good. Yes, now I'm back. I don't wanna be in blue anymore. I don't wanna be such a fool. And crying time is over. I AM BACK PEOPLE!

Well, today I have my own quality time. I cleaned up my room, I arranged the DVDs, I scrubbed all my body, and I wore a mask which was sooooo good for my face. I really enjoy this day. And I know everything is gonna be fine.

How's your Saturday nite, peeps?

Get your quality time! :)

SIMAK UI. speechless.

2010-04-11T16:31:00.006+07:00

Ohmaigat. Ya, saya baru aja nyampe rumah teman-teman. Baru aja. Kebetulan lokasi SIMAK saya di SMA PSKD 4, dan itu jauh. Yuk, saya ajak kalian semua me-review SIMAK tadi siang. Siap ya...

SIMAK UI 2010 WAS A TOTAL DISASTER!

Nah, gitu deh simak menurut gue T_T

Tadi pagi ya gue berangkat jam 6 dari rumah demi nyampe panglima polim jam 7. Nyampe di buncit, ternyata kartu pelajar gue ketinggalan. Gue bilang sama nyokap dan ternyata efeknya beliau ngamuk. Gue nangis aja loh. Bayangin aja udah panik ditambah dimarahin apa iya ga nangis coba. Gue pulang lagi terus ngebut akhirnya nyampe disana jam 7.15. Telat dikit.

Ternyata kartu pelajar ga dipake juga. Sompret. And yes, it was suuucks.

kemampuan IPA ----> speechless
kemampuan dasar ----> speechless
kemampuan IPS ----> speechless

And I'll show you this

ya ini dia kartu ujian saya

Hmm, i just don't know how the result will be. Please God, pleaseeee, give me a miracle... :(

panic.com

2010-04-10T07:50:00.005+07:00

eh sumpah ya gue panik banget SIMAK UI. sumpah panik.

astagabangetgimanadongnih.

H-1 dan masih nggak tau apa-apa. parah.

Quick Note

2010-04-10T00:48:00.001+07:00

Ah! I'M GONNA MISS HIGHSCHOOL. :'(

Late Night Talks

2010-04-09T23:56:00.003+07:00

Hello dear. Today I'm changing my layout (again). I love it very mucho. Not too girlie but very sophisticated. Loooovee it! <3

So, as usual I have nothing to do with my night, except DVDs time. But I got bored in the middle of the movie, then I left my sister alone and I came here to see you bloggie. Ah, I feel like a zombie now, I do everything as in my daily routinities, but inside I have no idea at all. Just empty. Yes, empty. Have you ever been there too? You know what, it's been almost two months since my "dear friend" gone. And I always miss "someone over there". I just can't get over him. Yeaah, I tried my best, and I've already promised to myself that I have to move on. Okay, now I'm in process.

Anyway, if you are in the same grade as mine, it means there are two days left to SIMAK UI. Aaahhh, my God. I haven't prepared anything yet. Really. I haven't studied anything at all. Please God, pleaseeee, give me some miracles on Sunday. Please God, I know I've been so lazy these days, but please, let me pass the test successfully. I also pray for all my friends, wish you all luck guys!

.....................speechless now.

what I'm suppose to do.

so I guess I'm gonna catch you up later. smoooooch! :*

Absurdness.

2010-04-04T19:33:00.002+07:00

Sssshh. Stop thinking. Huh? Thinking? What is actually running on my mind? I feel so absurd. I spent many times just for daydreaming. I feel so empty. Aaaand emptiness is SUCKS, rite people?

Being a single fighter is fun. Yeeaa, I lied. Being single is sucks. Actually single is okay, but at least I have someone to talk to. I mean, a boy. Not a lover but just a friend. Peeps, sometimes boys are better than girls, rite? Boys are very easy going.

Errgh. What the hell is going on with me? Am I crazy? Am I? Am I? Am I? AM I?

Hello world, I NEED MY FUN WORLD BACK. Now all that things have gone to somewhere I don't know. Errrrgggh. Damn it!

Ssssh. Shut up.

My First Time Night Driving

2010-04-04T11:51:00.002+07:00

Mihihi, last night was an unforgetable night for meeeeh. I was driving on my own! Yeaay!

Hahaha, norak kan? Iya emang gue norak, tapi bodo amat yang penting bangga gue. Akhirnya bisa juga nyetir di jalan. It started on 11 p.m and the routes were pretty hard. Berangkat dari rumah deg-degan. Beneran deg-degan. Masalahnya bawa nyawa kakak gue.

ini baru mau mulai, jreng jreng!

Yes, keluar Pesona sehat wal 'afiat. Sampai di margonda.......ternyata jalanan rame aja. Yeaa no wonder, it was Saturday night and everyone was havin' some fun outside. Gila ya, motor-motor sliweran ngga tau diri. Parno abis. But I'm lucky that my sister is a real good driver, she made me a good driver too.

First stop was Bright at Ragunan. Alhamdulillah masih selamat. Next destination were Prapanca - Al-Azhar - Pati Unus - Radio Dalam - Bintaro - Fatmawati - Home. Ternyata nyetir itu ga seseram yang gue bayangkan. Nyetir ternyata asik setelah gue adaptasi sama si mobil. Gue naik CR-V dan orang pasti ga akan percaya. Terima kasih ya teman - teman kalian pasti bakal bilang "emang bisa anak SD nyetir, kakinya nyampe?" Terima kasih teman - teman.

hahahaha asik

Norak kan ya? Bodo deh. Hehehe tinggal bikin SIM. Driving Lisence come to mama!

That was such a great experience for me. Really. I heart you, CR-V, smooooch! :*

Sabar...

2010-03-31T19:03:00.004+07:00

Me again, hello. Hmm, ga banyak yang bisa gue katakan saat ini. Semua campur aduk di kepala gue. Ga ngerti apa yang mesti dikerjain. I'm so exhausted.

Okay, this is a very classic sentence and I'm sure you do know it well. Coba, ketika kalian lagi punya masalah, apapun itu, apa yang paling sering kalian denger dari orang sekeliling kalian? Ya. Kalimatnya cuma "yang sabar ya". Okay. Sabar. Memang sangat mudah buat mengatakan sabar ke orang lain. Tapi belum tentu kita bisa jalanin teori itu dengan mudah. Begitu juga dengan gue.

Sabar.

Menurut gue ilmu yang paling susah dikuasai ya cuma ilmu sabar. Tiga hari lalu gue liat sebuah buku yang isinya tentang indahnya sabar. Kinda relieving for me. Gue mengutip kalimat ini dari buku itu.

" Sabar bukan berarti mengalah tanpa usaha. Sabar adalah sebuah dimensi antara ikhtiar maksimal dengan tawakkal optimal. "

Speechless. Tapi gue bersyukur, berarti Allah sangat sayang sama gue. Semua masalah yang menimpa gue pasti ada maksudnya. Dan dengan sabar ga akan ada yang sia-sia. Ya semoga akan ada akhir yang baik dari penantian gue, amin.

Smooch ya later :)

Life is Complicated These Days

2010-03-26T21:49:00.006+07:00

Okay, long time no-blogging. Apa kabar kalian semua? Gue? Yeaa, not so good. UAN baru aja selesai hari ini, lega sih tapi masih ada segudang ujian lagi yang mesti dihadapin. Universitas Indonesia, I'm ready. Prasetya Mulya, I'm ready. Al-Azhar, I'm ready.

Another topic. Banyak hal yang udah gue lewatin selama 2 bulan terakhir ini. Apapun itu. Tapi yang paling berat buat orang seusia kita yang masih labil ya apalagi kalo bukan love life, right? Awal kisah gue memang indah semuanya, tapi sekarang itu berbalik 180 derajat. Keadaan yang dulu selalu menyenangkan sekarang udah ga ada lagi. Semua hilang. Hilang begitu aja.

Dulu hari-hari gue selalu diisi dengan seorang cowok ini. Awalnya pure cuma berteman. Tapi pas perasaan itu datang, kita pun gabisa bohongin diri kita sendiri. Gue mulai merasa ada yang berbeda dari perasaan kita berdua. Mungkin gue dan dia sama-sama sadar. We both feel it. Tapi sepertinya gue dan dia naif buat mengakui. Yang jelas 2 bulan kemarin hidup gue serasa jadi baru. Luka lama gue yang tadinya susah untuk sembuh, bisa begitu aja hilang cuma gara-gara kehadiran si cowok ini. I felt like God sent him for me. Dia tau betapa sakitnya gue dulu dan dia pun menghilangkan luka itu dengan semua yang ada di dia. Dia hibur gue disaat gue sedih, dia menuntun gue disaat gue kehilangan arah dan dia juga ngajarin gue banyak hal. Even his presence is a gift for me.

Tapi sekarang, semua itu udah hilang. Entah pergi kemana.

Dia mungkin sekarang udah lupa sama semua waktu yang pernah gue dan dia jalanin sama-sama. Mungkin dia udah lupa kalo saat dulu dia jatuh, gue yang membangun dia kembali, begitu juga sebaliknya. Mungkin dia lupa sama semua kata-kata yang pernah dia ucapin ke gue. Mungkin dia lupa sama cara dia manggil nama gue. Mungkin dia lupa sama bau parfum yang selalu gue pakai. Mungkin dia lupa sama hangatnya keluarga gue yang begitu menerima dia di keluarga gue. Mungkin dia lupa sama hal-hal sepele yang sering kita lakukan dulu. Mungkin dia lupa semua hal tentang gue.

Tapi gue sedikitpun ga pernah lupa sama semua hal tentang dia. Sekecil apapun itu.

Sekarang dia kembali ke seseorang yang pernah dia sayangi dulu. Ingatan tentang gue mungkin udah dia hapus. Sekarang dia pergi jauh dari gue. Gatau bakal kembali lagi atau engga. Gue gabisa berbuat apa-apa. Sakit dan jatuh lagi dalam waktu berdekatan. Bahkan saat ini rasanya jauh lebih menyakitkan dari beberapa waktu yang lalu. Tapi apa yang bisa gue lakukan? Ga ada. Gue cuma bisa merelakan dia pergi. Walaupun melepas dia rasanya bener-bener menyakitkan tapi gue akan lakuin itu asalkan dia bahagia.

Rasanya amat sangat sakit. Semua orang disekitar gue selalu mendorong gue untuk bangkit lagi. Gue sangat menghargai mereka, karena kalo ga ada mereka mungkin gue dari kemarin udah jadi orang gila. Sekarang gue memang terpuruk. Tapi gue tau gue bisa ngelewatin ini semua. Yang gue gatau adalah waktu buat ngelupain ini semua. Mungkin seminggu, sebulan, setahun, gue ga pernah tau. Di kenyataannya sekarang udah 4 minggu dan gue tetep berada di titik terendah hidup gue. Semoga Allah punya rencana yang baik untuk gue. Semoga ada akhir yang baik untuk gue. Entah itu kembali sama dia ataupun cuma gue sendiri.

Dia pernah mengibaratkan kita bertiga sebagai Pohon, Daun dan Angin. Perempuan itu pohon, dia itu daun dan gue adalah anginnya. Daun tidak akan pergi dari pohon kalo pohon tidak mengizinkannya. Sementara angin, sekeras apapun angin itu bertiup, daun ternyata tetap tidak akan bergerak kalo pohon menginginkan daun tetap disitu.

Apapun keadaannya saat ini, gue akan selalu mendoakan dia. Mendoakan kebahagiaan dia. Biar gue yang sakit, biar gue yang menangis cuma untuk melihat dia tersenyum. Semoga kamu selalu bahagia ya.

Smell ya later, kiss you goodnight <3

Am I?

2010-01-21T16:48:00.001+07:00

..........................................................

Am I only dreaming, or what?

..........................................................

No Words Could

2010-01-17T00:46:00.003+07:00

I couldn't say anything. There are no words that could explain all these feelings. I'm so speechless and dozy. I don't know exactly what it is, I only know there are these butterfly on my stomach. Yeah. Speechless. Somehow I feel like enchanted by this person.

Well, this song from Maliq & D'essentials is quite representative. And maybe this is how I feel now.

And I have the lyrics too, here they are...

Coba coba katakan kepadaku bahwa kita sedang berjalan menuju satu alasan
Janganlah kau katakan bila kita memang tak ada tujuan dari apa yang dijalankan

Aku tak ingin terus terdiam memandangi harapan
Terlena akan manis cinta dan berujung kecewa
Aku tak ingin terus menunggu sesuatu yang tak pasti
Lebih baik kita menangis dan terluka hari ini..

Coba coba katakan kepadaku sekali lagi bila kita memang benar akan kesana,
Buktikan dan buat aku percaya bahwa kita bisa mewujudkan bahagia..

Aku tak ingin terus terdiam memandangi harapan
Terlena akan manis cinta dan berujung kecewa
Aku tak ingin terus menunggu sesuatu yang tak pasti
Lebih baik kita menangis dan terluka hari ini..

Ohh.. Oh.. Habis sudah semua rangkai kata..
Telah terungkap semua yang kurasa..
Yang kuingin akhir yang bahagia.. hoo..

Aku tak ingin terus terdiam memandangi harapan
Terlena akan manis cinta dan berujung kecewa
Aku tak ingin terus menunggu sesuatu yang tak pasti
Lebih baik kita menangis dan terluka..

Aku tak ingin terus terdiam memandangi harapan
Terlena akan manis cinta dan berujung kecewa
Aku tak ingin terus menunggu sesuatu yang tak pasti
Lebih baik kita menangis dan terluka hari ini..

Wohoho.. Dudududu..
Wohoho.. Dudududu..

Yang ku inginkan. .
Satu tujuan. .
Sebuah kenyataan. .
Bukan impian. .
Bukan harapan. .
Bukan alasan. .
Satu kepastian. .

Coba katakan. .
Coba katakan. .
Coba katakan. .
Coba katakan. .

See ya later :)

Very Unimportant Post

2010-01-16T08:50:00.003+07:00

Bonjour! Haha. Pardon moi. J'essaie juste de parler en français. Bien que je ne suis pas bon dans ce domaine. Alors, quel est votre plan d'aujourd'hui?

Okay. Enough. The truth is very hard to make a good sentence in French. Back to English, yay!

So, what's your plan today? I have this free time to post a trash again. Very very unimportant post. Haha. Actually, if you are on the 12th grade like me, the most important thing to do is study. YES STUDY. But I'm soooooooo lazy to do that. I know there will be Try Out Test on Monday. I know there will be The National Exam on March. I know there will be some university test on February and April. But, I COULD'T FIGHT THE LAZYNESS IN ME. I really have to change this bad habit.

I HAVE TO CHANGE!

If you, the readers, are on the same grade as mine, I'm sure that you already done the preparation for the exam, right? I saw some of my friends on my school have done all those preparation. And I think they already have this congratulation-you-are-a-college-student stamp on their forehead. Oh God. Really I have to change, I have to be serious.

Okay. Now I'm afraid. I'm gonna study after this. Bye!

Boredom

2010-01-15T20:48:00.001+07:00

Hello you. I think I'm gonna post some trash again. I have nothing to do. And I'm dying in a dimension called BOREDOM. Really, it's not fun when you have to spend your Friday night with all those boredom, alone. I know I know. I shouldn't be complaining all the time. But I really stuck on this. I've done some activities since afternoon which was fun-but-still-bored. I watched The Nanny. Have you ever watched it too? You can check it on this. It's really funny. Then I surfed on the internet for some hours. Actually until know. Still bored.

Ah, now my mom has just arrived at home. Good.

So, smell ya later. :)

We Both Know

2010-01-15T18:55:00.006+07:00

We both know about it

We both feel about it

We both hope about it

One thing's left...

We both deny it

Have you been there too, peeps? :)

Ho Ho Holiday Yay!

2010-01-14T20:44:00.003+07:00

Woo hoo! Guess what? There will be no school time from tomorrow til Sunday. HOLIDAY. All the teachers in my school will have this meeting on Bali. Ehm. *clears throat* Bali? WHAAAAT? This is a bit too much for a meeting, huh? Are they really doing that meeting or what? Hello, it's only two months left before the national exam. Argh, whatever. I love holiday.

Anyway, I've just bought my new contact lenses today. I bought the grey one. I feel weird but my friends really suggest me to pick that grey lenses. Those kinda sexy though in my eyes. Lol, hahaha.

So, I have nothing to write anymore. I just very grateful with all the things that happened today. Have a happy holiday peeps!

See you, xoxo ;)

It's Just Irritating!

2010-01-09T19:41:00.002+07:00

Well, it's just some trash from me. I stuck on a confusing condition. Again. Yes, again.

I wanna write 'em down here, but I guess it's not necessary cause I don't wanna hurt anyone. Now, I wanna ask you something. Have you been in a position when other people suspect you as the guilty one? Guilty cause you are the one who messed up all things. It's just really irritating for me. Yes, I know, maybe I just too much sensitive. But I have this strong feeling, dude. Listen, I never meant to ruin other people's life or whatever. I never did that cheap thing. If you ever had those negative thoughts about me, go ahead. But please, you know nothing about me.

Okay, I know I've been too much talking about shit. But the thing is, I really bothered by those kinda things.

I'll wrap this up. See ya. Have a nice weekend!

Hello 2010!

2010-01-02T09:35:00.002+07:00

Hello world! This is my first post since 2010 came. I have some new resolutions for 2010, but the most important thing is about The National Exam. I hope I can pass it with the good scores.

Okay, for the first resolution, I just wanna be a better person than before. Cliche, huh? But it's true, I wanna have a better attitude, a better studying schedule ( I'm so lack on that thing you know ) and a better relationship with all people around me.

Other things that I wanna reach this year are all about my dreams. College student of course, but which university? Still confuse and stuck in dilemma. Paris or Jakarta are the same. Paris is everything that I want, but Jakarta have these bunch of everything that I love. What would you pick if you were me?

About relationship thingy, not only about dating, but the most important is about friendship. I don't mind about dating, I care so much about friendship. To be truth, I don't want a boyfriend at all. I just want a bunch of people who love me. I don't wanna mess up with friendship.

Last thing, if you read this, I wanna apologize to you, really I never meant to disturb your relationship. I never want this, ever. I am so sorry if you feel disturbed by me. Now I'm begging an apology from you. I wish you both could fix your problem and have an everlasting relationship. I hope that you and your friend will never hate me after this. It's just very hurt if someone, especially my friends, hate me or think negative about me for the reason that I didn't do.

That's it! Wish you a wonderful journey in 2010! May God bless you all! :)

Seven In The Morning

2009-12-29T07:52:00.006+07:00

Hello world! This is 7 a.m in my place and I have seven announcements for you, haha maybe these aren't important for you though.

Well, I'm still in my holiday. Rolling on the bed all day long *too much*, watching DVDs, eating like crazy til I get more weight. Uh, that's not good, I have to stop eating too much. Especially eating sugar or carbohydrates.

I just took a photo-shoot for my year-end book yesterday. The photo-shoot took the horse racing track as the background. That was tiring and fun. I did all the make up for the girls in my class. It took about 3 hours to do all the make up and guess what? I didn't sit at all. Very tiring, but pretty satisfied. I love to see my girls with the make up, cause they all looked pretty. And thanks to my photographer girl, Dias Asilatiningsih, who organized us very well yesterday.

This is only three days left before The New Year's Eve. I plan to have the barbeque things in my house. And of course the fireworks!

FYI, The National Exam will be held on the 22nd of March 2010. I haven't prepared well. My studying schedule is so lack. And to be truth, I am a very lazy person. Gosh, I shouldn't be like this, but it feels so hard to change the habit.

I wanna buy a new cell phone but I've got no money. I wanna have this Blackberry Javelin for sure. But once again, the money, oh pleeease!

Ehm. About love life? I've moved on. :)

I absolutely feel happy, because I have this kinda friends that always be there for me. They are my closest friends. I have Ditta Amanda Octaviantie, Thiyas Prasetyo Ramadhana, Anisa, Hajir Saputra, Nadhira Nurani, Mirror Sabda Mahendha Amien, Raden Teguh Rendy Willyanto, Bacharudin Abdurrosyid Farisi and Andita Rani. I love them for sure.

That's all for this beautiful morning. See ya, xoxo :)

Three Tiger Cubs Born at Ragunan Zoo

2009-12-24T18:34:00.004+07:00

What if I adopt a cute baby tiger? Lol. Well, I've just watched this TV show that discussed about three newborn babies of Sumatran tiger at Ragunan Zoo. The sex of the newborns are still unknown. Whatever, but they're just too cute. And I so much crazy in love with tigers.

the newborns

Too cute, huh? Awww, please please please, can I have one of them?

Smell ya later, x o x o :)

Three Words and Eight Letters

2009-12-23T17:03:00.001+07:00

Hello world! How's your holiday? Mine? Pretty good. So far I spend this holiday by watching those lovely DVDs one by one. I think it's a good idea for refreshing because you don't have to waste your money, lol.

Anyway, have I told you that I'm a big fan of Gossip Girl TV series before? The stars are gorgeous and of course the fashion things there are adorable. They're just very lovely. I like all the sets of the movie, which most of them are taking Manhattan as the background. They are all the Upper East Side students that have this amazing taste of fashion.

Well, I really adore this Blair Waldorf ( starring Leighton Meester ). This Queen B is absolutely unbeatable. In this Gossip Girl, she fell in love with this womanizer called Chuck Bass ( starring Ed Westwick ). Chuck is the son of the business king in Manhattan, Bart Bass. At first they both didn't realize the feeling that came to them. However, they fell in love and made them a wonderful couple. I was watching the 1st episode of Gossip Girl season 2, Summer, Kind of Wonderful, and I found this lovely scene.

Blair said to Chuck, "Three words. Eight letters. Say it and I'm yours".

That statement made me melted and speechless.

So, smell ya later fellas, Gossip Girl, X O X O

Holiday is Coming!

2009-12-18T23:47:00.004+07:00

Hello there! Have I told you about the-holiday-thing? Well, it's almost end of December and it means I'm ready to hit the holiday. Anyway my school has just given the studying report to all the parents yesterday. My score was quite good. Quite good? Haha, I mean my score wasn't that bad. I got some good scores on some subjects although the rest of it were not. But the average of all subjects is good.

About holiday. Do you guys have any plans to spend this holiday? I haven't prepared anything for this. I really don't know where to go. I guess I'm gonna spend most of this holiday by watching dvds at home. It's okay for me if I'm not going anywhere to spend this holiday, but I need these bunch of jokers to accompany me at home. I think everyday feels like holiday if they keep throwing those silly jokes to me, lol.

Anyway, this is the last year of being a senior high school student, there are a lot of things that should be prepared before the national exam is coming. Not only the national exam, but where-to-go after we graduate. Of course the university, right? Hmm, actually I already have some destinations to go after I finish the 12th grade. There are The University of Indonesia, which is the most popular and qualified university of Indonesia, Prasetya Mulya The School of Business and of course Paris. Still confuse to choose the best university for me. Hope that I can choose the right option.

Another thing that should be done before the graduation is the year-end book project. My class' theme is all about carnival. We are going to take the photo shoot on 28th of December and my job is about the make-up-thing. Woohoo, I just love to do the make-up-whiz.

lovely eyelashes

Can't wait to do that project!

Smell ya later, xoxo :*

The Unforgettable Night of Seventeen

2009-12-16T19:17:00.006+07:00

Helloooo, i'm back again. I'm just too excited to start this. Well, I'm gonna give you my story about my 17th birthday partaaay! * too much? yes* Do you get interest on this too? Okay, here the story goes...

It was Friday night, December the 11th 2009, which was my 17 birthday. I was throwing this party to celebrate it. I invited my closest friends to joined the party together. There were 10 people. We went to a restaurant zone at Kemang which called Kemang Food Festival. If you guys like most of the teenager in South Jakarta, you must have known about this place. Kinda booming place to chill on South Jakarta. We spent the night with a lovely dinner with full of laugh. We all like the jokers at our school, whenever we spend the time together, there will be a lot of jokes. Maybe we should wear what clowns wear.

with my girls

the silly jokers

looks very satisfied, huh?

smile!

Wait, there were only the pictures when we had the dinner. You should check the next photos that I'm going to post. Getting night, getting crazy. After we ate all the food there, we moved to the building in front of Kemang Food Festival. It called The La Codefin, another place to chill within a lot of entertainment. We were going to have a karaoke time. Then this is the most unforgettable time of that night. They gave me THE SUPRISE!

a birthday present and I blew out the lighter

taadaa! it's a pair of cute stilettos

Another best pictures of the night...

best friends became best couple

freaks

weirdos

what with the lips

birthday girl and the freaks

Then it's time to go home...

sleepy eyes

So that was a bunch of pictures of my 17th birthday party. Feel free to see another pictures on my facebook. It was really unforgettable moment of my life, have you got any similar story as mine ?

See ya, xoxo, smooooooch :*

♥ My Seventeen Birthday ♥

2009-12-11T06:50:00.004+07:00

Happy 17th Birthday to me!

This is the new age and a new chapter of my life. In this seventeen birthday I promise that I should change myself into a better person. Whether it's for my own, my family and also for all the people around me. I also have these wishes for my birthday, which I mentioned yesterday. But the most important thing is, I really thanked God for this wonderful life until I reach this seventeen.

Seventeen. All teenagers in this world must be very exciting to wait for this age. And I have this euphoria too. Kinda cheezy maybe. But whatever. It's just really fun to be in this age. But besides all the fun things, seventeen means a time to grow up. Well, it is supposed to be like that. And I promise to myself for being a better girl. Last but not least, thank you for all who gave me those wonderful wishes.

X O X O, happy birthday to me :*

The Tarot Loves Me

2009-12-10T20:45:00.005+07:00

Helloooo, fellas! Can you see that I'm so f-in excited waiting my birthday to come? I'm so excited with my seventeen birthday. Hmm, many people said that this is the growing up age. In this age we have to start to be a grown up person and there will be no more childish behavior. Uh-oh, okay, I'm a bit worry about it. But hell yeah, this is seventeen, the golden age of a teenager, so let's do some fun. For example playing the tarot cards. Hmm, sounds fun? Yes, it is. I admit it.

Okay, straight to the point.

This morning I came to my school, when everybody in my school was having this little bazaar on its yard. Actually it is a routine agenda of my school, having this sports competition in every end of the semester. And the girls were making a little bazaar to participate the event. Guess what. I found this shiny stand near the stairs of the yard. It was THE TAROT STAND. Woo-hoo, sooo excited. Well, it's just for fun.

So, my junior asked me to join the stand. Then I tried it. She read the tarot cards for me. I picked the-five-formation of cards. It included the nearest future to come, the obstacles in life and definitely the love life. One card opened, it was telling that I would have a-one-level-up in my life. Kinda surprising. Then the second card opened, it was telling that there will be some steps I have to pass to reach the top of that level. Okay, more interesting. Then this third card opened. Uh-oh. This is the bad one. It was telling that I will find some obstacles to reach the top of the level and I will have this doubt. Okay, then the fourth card. This is the bright card. It was telling that I will be surrounded by many loving person. Aww, so sweet. And the last one was the brightest card for me. The fifth card telling about the love life. It said that there will be this guy who will warm up my day and give me the happiness. Hmm, looks like one of my wish list will be come true. The prince charming.

I just wish that the fortune will always surrounds me in my new age. Smooooooch! :*

My Birthday Gift List

2009-12-10T06:43:00.008+07:00

Well, hello fellas. Hihi I'm so excited today, I just can't wait til tomorrow is coming. Hmm, now let's see what is my birthday gift list. Here they are, taaadaaaa!

Blackberry 8900 Javelin

Chocolate Devil Cake

The Body Shop Fragrances

A Holiday

Bunch of Dearest People

Taller Than Before ( hahaha )

A Prince Charming *clears throat*

Counting down for an upcoming birthday!

XOXO :*

Dilemma? Let's Chill

2009-12-09T19:34:00.004+07:00

Soooo, how's your day lately? Mine? Quite good. I've been trying to move on these days and I MADE IT. I couldn't believe it actually, but once again I DID IT. Yeeeeaaay for me! Thank you for all my beloved people around me who always cares about me. Beloved sister, GRF and all.

But, it's kinda confusing though. I mean, I'm confuse with all my feelings. Sometimes I still feel sad when I saw mr.fat, but, yeah whatever. He's with someone else right now and I have to let him go no matter what. Maybe God has another beautiful plan for me. No doubt about it.

Well, many wise people said that the best medicine when your heart is broken is to find somebody new to love. Hmm, it does make sense and I guess that's the thing that happen to me right now. After two years I couldn't move on from this fat guy, and now suddenly all these feelings come to me. Fill my day with happiness. And definitely, the butterflies are coming to my stomach. It's been a long time I never feel like this. Feel so unpredictable and feel so alive. But now, this is my only question, do I move on to the right guy?

This guy makes me forget all the sorrow that haunted me for such a long time. And I feel so comfortable when he is around me. This is a good turning point for me. right? But I'm afraid if I fall to the wrong guy. Maybe it's not with the wrong guy, but the wrong situation.

Damn.

Now all I need is to chill my head. Take a deep breath. I know God will gimme the best choice. Oh I almost forget! This is the 9th of December. Two days left to my seventeen birthday! Yeaaay. Wish me a wonderful birthday and all the good luck.

Smell ya later, kiss kiss, smooooch! :*

Sunday, Free or Busy ?

2009-11-08T09:33:00.006+07:00

Ah, Sunday morning. It's always a quality time for me. Well, I have this thoughts that forced me to write 'em down here. But once again, I don't know where do I have to start. Okay then I'll start with my busy activities.

Today I'm about to have a test from my course. Uh-oh, I haven't prepared anything for this. And it's only a few hours left. Very lack attitude of me. Always rushing myself when I have an up-coming test. But somehow this morning I realized that I am in the 12th grade now. I realized that I have to study a lot for my own successful. So let's say there will be no more time for useless thoughts. I have to use my time as wise as it goes. I shouldn't do useless things that only wasting my precious time. For now on, study becomes my number one priority. Yes, it must be number one.

Okay, let's talk about another topics.

It has been a week since my mom went to Mecca for the pilgrimage. I've been worried about her condition there. But finally last Friday my mom sent me a message that told she's fine there. That was reliefs me a lot. I'm glad to know that she's okay.

Well, the last but not least, I'm gonna write about this guy. Mr. Fat. I bet you already knew about this guy if you read my blog from the first. But if you haven't, I'll explain it again.

Mr. Fat : A fat guy who lived not so far from my house. He also at the same class with me when I was on the 10th grade. He likes black, play drums and car. Most of his clothes are black. He wears the black glasses. He had a round face with ignorant smile. He loves to make jokes a lot.

Ah, anyway I'm currently listening to this relaxing song and I copy these words from Christian Bautista's song, named Since I Found You...

i think of you in everything that i do
to be with you what ever it takes i'll do
cause you my love, you all my heart desires
you've lighten up my life forever i'm alive

since i found you my world seems so brand new
you've show me the love i never knew
your presence is what my whole life through
since i found you my life begin so new
now who needs a dream when there is you
for all of my dreams came true
since i found you

your love shines bright
through all the corners of my heart
maybe you are my dearest heart
i give you all i have my heart, my soul, my life
my destiny is you
forever true... i'm so in love with you

A very representative song. Okay then, I think it's enough for now. I have to study first. Bye, talk to you later...

Dear Beautiful Night

2009-11-03T22:34:00.004+07:00

This is all I feel...

Empty...

Please, make those empty feeling go away. At least, put me on a beautiful dream tonight.

Bonne nuit...

Random Feelings

2009-11-01T14:55:00.004+07:00

Hi fellas. Once again I don't know what to write, but I feel there are many things that about to explode on my mind. I feel this emptiness in my heart. So, I choose to write than letting myself perplexed.

Today my mom is staying at "Asrama Haji Pondok Gede" until tomorrow, then tomorrow she'll fly to Madina. She is about to do the pilgrimage, which is a very important worship in my religion, Islam. She'll stay at Madina and Mecca for about 40 days. My another relatives are also joining the same group as my mom. I really hope that they'll be fine there and come back home safely, especially my mom. It's been about 2 hours since I said goodbye to my mom, and I've already missed her. In this position, I've just realized that I love her so much. Really love her.

Sis and Mom

Mom, please take care of yourself there, I will always pray for your safety from here. I do love you, mom...

So fellas, I think that's enough for now. I really don't know what to do. I'll catch ya later. Bye...

It's Monday = il est Lundi

2009-10-26T18:52:00.003+07:00

Ergh, it's Monday, fellas. This week comes really fast I think. Really fast. Actually I'm not going to school today because I got a big headache. Okay now I just wanna write a simple post. Guess what, now I'll try to write this post in French. Here we go, fellas.

Bonjour, ceci est Firna. Cette fois, je suis en train d'écrire ce post en français aussi correct que j'ai pu. J'aime vraiment toutes les choses qui reliait à la France. Commencé à partir du pays, la langue et définitivement à la mode. J'ai toujours envie d'aller en France depuis que je suis un gamin, et j'espère qu'un jour mon rêve va se réaliser. Je viens en France.

Need a translation? Here it is...

Hello, this is Firna. This time I am trying to write this post in French as correct as I could. I really love all the things that connected to France. Started from the country, the language and definitely the fashion. I always want to go to France since I was a kid and I hope that someday my dreams will become true. I am coming France.

Okay I think that's enough for today and I'm gonna write another post as soon as I could.

Au revoir mes amis!

Thanks God It's Friday

2009-10-23T21:24:00.005+07:00

Helloooooo, fellas. I bring you to my new post today.

The biggest news today is, my mid test is over. Aaaaaa, I'm happy for that. Thanks God. It's been a busy week for me. Uh, 5 day studying hard until 3 pm then doing the extra courses until 8 pm. So sick of it. And I've got my new rythm for my bed time. I got home at 8 pm, then I prepared to study (again), but this is always happen to me. Suddenly I fell asleep when I opened my book. And I woke up at 11 pm. Ah this is the time to read some subjects. After I read those books, I went to sleep again at 1 am. Good. Because of this, I always got a headache at school, and felt very sleepy all day long.

Actually there were some random things that I wanna share with you about my fun time with my lovely GRF, but I really have to catch some sleep now. So, I'll catch ya later tomorrow and I'll share the best moment that I had today. See you, fellas.

Kiss kiss, bonne nuit.:)

Busy Dizzy Day

2009-10-13T18:07:00.006+07:00

Ewww, I got sick. I feel dizzy and cold all day long. This isn't fun when you have a lot things to do and suddenly you get sick. Anyway, I just wanna write a little about my day at school nowadays, so I'll make it short and simple.

Okay, the first thing that I've been worried so much is about The Midterm Test. It will be held on Monday 19th until Friday 24th. Uh oh, I haven't prepared anything for that. Okay, a little. But, I think a week is not enough to prepare all the subjects for the test. God, help me to get through the test.

Physics, Chemistry, Biology and Mathematics. 4 killers.

Uh, I have no idea for this subject.

Chemistry? No comment.

Aaah, this is the angel. Love Biology.

Ewwwww.

I just hope for the best luck, and now I'm about to study first. Wish me luck, fellas! See you soon...

Husky Come to Me...

2009-10-11T13:10:00.005+07:00

Woohooo, I have nothing to do now, so I decided to write again. Not sure about what I want to write, but I'll make it simple.

The thing that always turn around in my mind these days is this thing, I wanna have Siberian Husky dog. Awww, I always wanna have Husky since I was a kid. And yeah of course my parents didn't allow me to have a dog, because in my religion we are not allowed to have dogs or pigs. Pigs? Ew, even someone give me a ton of money, I will not ever touch a pig. Never.

Okay, back to Husky. Have you ever known or heard about this dog? If you haven't known Husky, I'll give you a little information about that. Well, I copy it from a source in the internet. Here it goes...

Siberian Huskies are strong, compact, working dogs.The Siberian Husky comes in all colors from black to pure white are allowed. A variety of markings on the head is common, including many striking patterns not found in other breeds. These dogs are gentle and playful and very fond of his or her family. A puppy at heart, they are clever, sociable and loving, easy-going and docile. Though they do have a lot of energy, especially as puppies. Good with children and friendly with strangers, they are not watchdogs, for they bark little and love everyone.

And here are the photos...

see, how cute it is

her eyes are begging me

woohoo, a cool puppy in the house

sweet couple

aww, look at her eyes

Oh my gosh, they're cute. The last picture is my favorite of all, her eyes are begging me. Can I have one? Anyway, what's your favorite pet fellas? Let me know...

Birthday on Sunday

2009-10-11T10:44:00.018+07:00

Morning, fellas... It's Sunday and of course I have these free times to write this post. Actually, I wanna give my best wishes for my dearest girl, Ditta Amanda Octaviantie, for her 17th birthday.

Happy Birthday to You...

Wish you all the best always...

Oh, this lil guy also wanna gives you a birthday present...

And also, I have this birthday poem for you, although this wasn't made by me but this poem is really represent me. Hope you'll like it honey, here it goes...

Birthday Wishes For My Friend

On your birthdayI wish for you the fulfillment
of all your fondest dreams.
I hope that for every candle
on your cake
you get a wonderful surprise.
I wish for you that
whatever you want most in life,
it comes to you,
just the way you imagined it,
or better.
I hope you get as much pleasure
from our friendship as I do.
I wish we were sisters,
so I could have known you
from the beginning.
I look forward to
enjoying our friendship
for many more of your birthdays.
I'm so glad you were born,
because you brighten my life
and fill it with joy. Happy Birthday! By Joanna Fuchs

Turning Back From The Darkness

2009-10-10T23:43:00.005+07:00

Hello, fellas! It's been about three weeks since my last post. Just remind you, three weeks ago was my zero level, but now I've returned from the darkness side in my life and bring you this post. Well, I wanna share my experiences during this three weeks. Here it goes fellas...

First thing, I wanna announce this, I broke up with my boyfriend. Yeeeeaaay! Gosh, I never feel so relief like now. And guess what, he still beg for my apology until this day. But, it's not easy for me, because all the things that he did to me was really aching. He asked me to be with him again, but I reject him. I don't want that bad memories come into my life again. But in fact that I always reject him, he still don't wanna let me go. He still force me, even telling my friends about our problems, so that they could persuade me to be with him again. I really mad at him. And maybe now I really hate him. If he asked me again, of course the answer is no. BIG NO FOR YOU JERK.

Second thing, I wanna tell you that I've decided to continue my study in France. Yes, France. This is the place that I always wanted to go. I wanna escape from my miserable life here and rebuild my new life in France. I wanna prove to all the people who have made me down that I am miss independent and I can do better than them. Mark my words, fellas. I wanna be a successful woman and make my parents proud of me, especially my beloved mom. And I promise this if God permit me, I wanna give a big holiday for my mom in Paris. I just wanna make her happy because I love her so much.

The last thing, I just wanna thanked God for all the good things in my life. Family, bestfriends, pets and whatever. I just wanna thanked God. And I know all the things that God gave to me has this one reason, to make me a tough girl. Yes, I admit that, I am a tough girl now. For my bestfriends ever, GRF, I also thanked you guys so much. You really made my day and help me through my hardest time. I love you guys...

Random Things I Could Share

2009-09-17T15:43:00.012+07:00

Hello, this is my first post since I made this blog.

Since I'm a newcomer in blog world, I found many problems to get my blog done even just to decide my blog's name. It was really confusing with all the features here. Then things get worse when I tried to change my blog's layout. But after I've tried for many times, finally I made my blog done and brought you to my first post. Check this out guys..

Trapped in a boredom

It's not fun when all your maids go to their villages for celebrating Eid Day*. Yes, I know it's holiday, and they have their rights to go back to their villages. But hello mom, could you just make tidy-up-house-things simple? We have no guest here, so please just make those stuff easier. Since I woke up, mom gave me many things-to-do-list, and I worked them out. It's only me who did them all. Mom definitely couldn't do those things because she has to go to her office at 6am. And my big sister always have her agenda that couldn't be disturb. I'm tired, alone and bored. Pathetic isn't it?

Tough situation in relationship

I have this complicated relationship between me and my bf for about past one and in a half years. It's very difficult to explain because there are so many problems that we got. I always love and like him, it was. Now, I always think how to break up with him. Maybe when you read this, you have a thought that I'm such a cruel girl. Really I don't wanna have such a complicated relationship either, but his attitude makes me wanna kill myself. First time he acted like that, I still think that maybe he just has a problem or something that makes him in a cranky mood. Oh no, I was wrong. He did the same thing when he got mad at me or mad with someone else. He talked trash to me, and blamed me all the time. I also knew that he still in a crush with the girl, my-junior-high-school-rival, in early months we've been in a relationship. He also never shows his effort to make me happy until now, at least watching cinema together or buying me present. But nope, he doesn't. Wtf ? Oh dear God, it's been two years. And we never make our problems clear.

Hurt? Don't ask.

The other way, when my bf makes me down with his bad attitude, this guy came up and made my day. Call this guy Gendut (of course it's not his real name). Bottom line, Gendut makes me happy, and now I'm officially in a deep crush with him. I know I know, I still have bf and I have a crush with someone else. Cruel ? Maybe. But don't blame me. It depends on your opinion tho. Now, I only know that I will pray to God for my bf happiness, and I wish he'll love other girl that really love him too. And also, I wish I could have a freedom from my sucks-complicated-relationship. I have to find my way back to a cheerful-happy life. Amin...And I also thanked God that I have this friends, GRF I called it, that always support me whenever, wherever and whatever my problem is.

So, what do you guys thinking? Please give comments here...